In NYC the scene is the opposite. The bars and events are overrun with attractive women. The weird trolls are the ones hanging out on OKC. Thus, if you move across country to NYC and update your OKC location, you'll start getting tons of messages from tattooed roller-derby girls who have pet snakes.
The type you were tired of meeting at the bars in SF. Why exactly are there so many attractive women? Is it something to do with NY being popular among women, or the culture of the east coast, or the presence of Ivies, or?
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To clarify my question- why are there more women in NYC? Is there a clear cause? The explanation is quite simple: The reasons for migration to cities are always economic. There are more jobs "for women" in NYC.
New York has more media, entertainment, fashion, art. Also, NYC has more rigid and easy-to-read hierarchies of male success -- in finance, law, big corporations, media fame -- for women looking to land conventional 'big game'. I have never seen anybody describe the Ivy League as being known for having attractive women. WarDekar on June 26, In one of John Taylor Gatto's books he brings up that Ivy League schools base part of their admissions process on the attractiveness of the applicant because they want to project a certain image.
I'm not sure if this is true or not, and I can't find a citation, but it was in Weapons of Mass Instruction  I believe, but possibly Dumbing Us Down . It was in his letter to his niece at the end of Weapons, if I recall correctly. I have also been told by a friend that is going to graduate school to an Ivy that it was part of the admissions process, though I'm not sure how she knew this I believe told by a previous graduate. NYC specifically has a large number of attractive women for the same reason LA does: There are people working service jobs waitress, bartender, etc.
In LA, it's movies and music. In NYC, it's music, modeling, fashion. That said, I'd prefer a "6" who is super-intelligent and interesting, to a "9" with whom I have nothing in common. Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. Artists spend their whole lives on the awareness of seeing.
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When you fall for someone you truly see them, much like an artist does. There is more beauty in that than a roomful of 10's at a wet T-shirt contest. I like Tyler Cowen's theory: Women then compete for lucrative marriage prizes. NYC has both variables. I live in NYC and can think of three reasons. Again, I am calling bullshit on this excuse.
We all have jobs and lives: If you are not in a position to date someone right now, you should not be going on dates. Unless you plan to date a newborn baby, we all have baggage. We all have pasts and sometimes the things that have happened to us in the past can be very traumatic.
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I have found that most strong-willed people can take that baggage and turn it into a positive, therefore making themselves a better person in the process. We all have exes. We all have problems with our jobs or strive for something better. Like I said, we are all in different places and some of our baggage is heavier than others. But asking questions and being honest usually does the trick.
It is not, however an acceptable excuse to not see someone again. Because if you are going on an initial date: Here is my favorite of the bullshit excuses for not getting together with someone again. If someone approaches me, I ask what they are looking for and take it from there. It happens. For example, a grown ass man recently took me out on a date and told me via text and in person multiple times that he was looking for that someone special. Upon being called out, he proceeded to block me on all forms of social media.
My biggest pet peeve in life especially in our current political climate is having someone say something to me and then pretend it never happened. There are boundless ways for us to communicate, which should make it very simple for these misunderstandings to never happen in the first place. The only person this really hurts in the long run is the person who does the ghosting. I understand that we are attached to our devices at all times nowadays and correspondence can oftentimes seem meaningless.
However, there are actual real-life people on the other end of those screens and those people have these pesky little things called: When you continuously disappear to get out of telling someone you are not interested or out of any problem in life for that matter, you are not actually dealing with anything at all. It may be easy to vanish from thin air, but trust me, the ghosts of your past have ways of coming back to haunt you no matter how hard you try to run from them. The only applicable excuse for not seeing someone on a second date or breaking things off with them is this:. See how easy that is?
No one is perfect. No one will ever be perfect. And for some reason, many gay men think something perfect is right around the corner, thus continuing this endless cycle of first dates without a second date. Yes, it stings. Rejection stings one way of the other. Dating is hard. But when it happens time and time again, we build a resolve that makes us jaded, biter and nasty toward the very group of people we are trying to date.
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