And lots of people have herpes, but they won't acknowledge it. You can't beat yourself up over this. It'll be okay! First let me say: You may be misdiagnosing your self. I'm a straight woman, but I found herpes not to be a huge problem when dating. It made casual sex less frequent and a little less casual.
I never felt that I had to only date other people with herpes though I would occasionally tell a guy I had herpes only to have him say, "Oh really?
Me too! A few less than 5 guys balked and I never heard from them again but most did some research, asked me some questions and then we went on to have an awesome, healthy sexual relationship. It also helped me to remember that a guy choosing not to have sex with me because I had herpes wasn't a reflection on me or a rejection. They were just making a choice and I think most of them just didn't like the idea of having to be SO careful all the time, something I could totally relate.
You don't have to be disgusted with yourself.
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At worst you made a mistake, one which lots of people make, and maybe ended up with more far reaching consequences. Herpes certainly made me feel a little ashamed and self-conscious for awhile but it faded. I'd be happy to answer other questions if you want to memail me. Sorry this happened to you. Contracting any STI sucks. You have just an area of discoloration? Definitely wait and talk to a doctor before you let this get you down.
I went to get something checked out recently that I'd been convinced was somehow STI-related. Not only did that turn out NOT to be the case, the doctor was somewhat incredulous that something so minor would have led me to that conclusion, or to his office. People overthink their junk. And with good reason I suppose, but honestly try to put it out of your mind until you know you have reason to worry. As a gay man who has HPV, let me reassure you that an incurable viral diagnosis will not spell the end to your dating life and will not require that you shuffle off to a convent to die a lonely celibate death.
I remember the feeling that you're having now: I was mortified when I discovered the symptoms, and immediately told the guy I was seeing that I thought I might have HPV, though I assured him that in our fooling around he had not been near them and that he was probably okay. Rather than berate me for potentially putting him at risk, rather than telling all my friends that I was a skank, rather than avoiding me like the Typhoid Mary I presumed myself to be Whether we should continue seeing each other.
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I was floored. HPV has changed my sexual practices somewhat, but it hasn't changed the regularity with which I have sex.
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I have had several boyfriends in the two years since I was diagnosed and treated for HPV. The most common reaction to disclosure is "Oh, doesn't like, everyone have that? But here's the thing: Go get tested. Get diagnosed, if in fact it is herpes.
Get on a treatment. And figure out how you plan to disclose this to future sex partners. There are a lot of helpful threads right here on MetaFilter which will assist you in crafting the perfect disclosure. And then get back out there. I promise. Excellent counsel above. Just start meeting thousands of people like you who are interested in gay dating. All rights reserved. Friendly Links: Quick Search I am a: Man Man Seeking a: Man Man Living With: West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming.
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